Not so Happy Thanksgiving.
After having an admittedly awkward dinner with @AndieSinger and @SilentSufferer_ , Dean and I headed home with JD. He seemed so quiet, like something was on his mind. I kept quiet on the drive home, thinking he was just tired.
Once home, I laid JD down for the night and poured myself a glass of wine. I went off to find Dean and talk. Hearing noise from the bedroom, I headed that direction.
Jo: What are you doing?
Dean: Packing.
Jo: Why are you packing? *fear gripped my heart and I found it hard to breathe*
Dean: I need to get the hell out of here. I’m not cut out for this life. I…I just can’t do this anymore. I’m going on a hunt.
Jo: What do you mean you can’t do this anymore? I don’t get it. We’ve been happy.
*I reach for his arm but he strugs me off, checking his .45 before shoving it in the duffle, along with some clothes*
Dean: I’m not a husband or a father. I’m a hunter. Plain and simple. Seeing Sam made me remember that.
*He pushes past me, duffle over his shoulder and heads to the door*
Dean: Keep JD safe and tell her I will always love her. *he leans in to kiss me, but I turn my cheek, too heartbroken to bare it* I love you Jo. Always have.
With that he walks out the door and out of my life. Still holding the glass of wine, I down it and throw it against the door.
How could he do this to me, to JD? I collapse to the floor, silent tears falling down my cheeks.
I look down at my ring….Will he ever come back?
Please read
Ooc: So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and have come to the conclusion that I am a horrible person. I have single handedly destroyed every relationship I made on Twitter in one way or another.
When I first came to Twitter, I found many friends and had lots of fun. I would stay up to all hours of the night just talking bullshit with those I was close to. I would get warm welcomes when I came online and if I was having a bad day in real life, my friends would be there to talk to and cheer me up.
I have made mistakes. Hell I probably made some enemies along the way too. But I have tried to make amends. I have tried to be there for everyone.
I now no longer get so much as a hello from people I thought were friends. I no longer get dms for dm games I play. This has shown me just how far I have fallen from the perverbial tree.
If I have offended you, hurt you, ignored, belittled, or angered you I am truly sorry.
I am not sure what will become of Jo. I have been through too much to let her go but it may come to that.
All I can say is that I’ve had so much fun. I’ve grown as a person and have many memories. So to those that have been with me, thank you for that.
I love you all. Goodbye for now.
The Nightmare
*I’m in a hospital. I only know that because of all the doctors and nurses around me and the sounds of machines going. Pain…oh god the pain is excrusiating. Someone tells me to push.
Push? Wait that mean…no it’s too soon. But i look down at my swollen belly and I know it’s not. I bare down and push as hard as I can before throwing my head back on the pillow. Frantically, I look around for Dean.
“Right here sweetheart”
I breathe out a sigh of relief when he takes my hand. The pain hits again and I push.
“It’s a boy!” The baby cries as do I. I reach my hands out to hold him, but they give him to Dean.
“Dean, let me hold our son”
“I’m sorry sweetheart, but you made a deal” He takes the baby to a dark shadow in the corner. The demon is standing there. His red eyes dancing in delight as Dean hands over our baby.
I try to get off the table, but the nurses hold me down, mocking me. “You made a deal. You made a deal”
My eyes are fixed on the demon, pleading to take me instead. He silently takes the baby…MY baby and disappears.
I scream out NNOOOOO!!!!!!*
The Deal
I never learn apparently. I mean I know what Dean went through in hell, the deal he made and yet I still made the deal.
It was after I was foolish enough to take me own life. Here I thought I was going to be a saint for what I did. But I guess the bad I did in my life outweighed the good so I wound up downstairs.
I’m not going to lie, I didn’t last long on the rack. The demon came to me everyday and asked me to get off the rack, take up the knife and torture the other souls. I couldn’t do it. The torture that was, so I struck a deal. They send me back, and they can have my first born.
Here I thought they were foolish. I would never fall in love, let alone have kids, so really I outsmarted them. I actually got one over on a demon.
I couldn’t be more wrong.
Dean found me again and well, we wound up married in Vegas. I want a life with him, the apple pie life. White picket fence, 2.5 kids, a dog…hell normal jobs. But that wasn’t going to happen. If I was pregnant, how do I tell Dean about the deal?
He would leave me, or worse make a deal himself. It was the endless circle of the Winchesters. One deal made to save the other.
This wasn’t going to end well.
Goodbye Jo
*She sat alone in the apartment that she shared with Lumiel. Although it has become more of a tomb than a home to her. She has a picture of her and Vicky and Damien from their wedding in her hands. Tears fall from her eyes and she runs a shakey finger over their faces. They had always been there for her and now even they can’t help her. She remembered the time they all went on the slip-n-slide and Vicky bruised her ass, the time when all the girls went out and pole danced just for fun, when Emma was born. The talks and laughs they all shared. She would never for get them and she hoped they would never forget her.
Then there is Gabe and Izzy and Jareth. They have become family to her as well. Gabe always able to make her laugh and Izzy with an open ear. She loved them dearly as well. And dear sweet Jareth. He has such a good heart and amazing imagination. He will make a great arch angel someday.
Things have gotten bad for her though. She felt alone even though she was surrounded by friends and family. She has made mistakes…too many to count. Cas thought she would do great things, help Sam and Dean and in turn help herself. All she has done is hurt people she loves and pushed Sam and Dean away. Even her own husband has forgotten her.
No, it was better off this way. Everyone would be happier and move on as if she was never here.
She looks at the blade on her bed and takes a deep breath before removing the vial of Lumiel’s grace from her neck. He would know the instant she was gone, she knew that, but he wouldn’t care. Nobody would. Just incase though, she wrote out letters to @VicksMarshall, @LoyaltoLucifer, @Chocolovinangel and @IsrafelAngel . They would appear to them after she was gone.
Knowing things were in order and her mind made up, she takes the blade in her hand and takes a deep breath before driving it into her abdomen. A bright light fills the room along with her screams. The pain excrutiating as her grace is burned from her. She cries out in agony until she is gone. Her body laid on the bed, her wings singed on the bed and the floor.
Goodbye Jo*
